


don't wanna let you down (but i'm hellbound)

by havisham



Series: havisham's SASO 2017 works collection [32]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Big Brothers, Complicated Relationships, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 17:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11361828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havisham/pseuds/havisham
Summary: Himuro versus the gap year from hell.





	don't wanna let you down (but i'm hellbound)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for SASO 2017, Bonus Round 3: Fan Soundtracks, for the [prompt](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/22341.html?thread=12599877#cmt12599877): Kagami/Himuro, [Demons - Imagine Dragons](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFQYaoiIFh8). 
> 
> I've heard this song before, but I'd never really heard-heard it, you know? It's pretty dark!
> 
> Read the remix of this work by dw user hatchbacks [here](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/24968.html?thread=15888008#cmt15888008).

On reflection, Tatsuya probably should've said something when Taiga first mentioned wanting to sleep with him. Even days later, with music from the club booming in his ears, that was all he could think about. Now, he was drunk, and more than a little high (although Taiga didn’t know that, Taiga must think Tatsuya was naturally this buoyant and light and happy -- it was like they’d never even _met_ ) and instead of laughing or deflecting or saying, _no, what the hell, we’re brothers_ , Tatsuya had chosen silence then and he wanted to say yes, now. 

Say yes and leave this place and do what he always wanted to do. He leaned against the sweaty bulk of Taiga’s arms, so far that it only took one little push for him to tumble into Taiga’s arms. 

Taiga was so big now that he could easily hold him still and Tatsuya looked up at him with sad eyes, the kind of eyes he knew that Taiga’s soft heart couldn’t hold out against. “Do you wanna stay?” Another, more important question hovered on Tatsuya’s lips, but he didn’t ask because he didn’t want Taiga to think about it, to change his mind when Tatsuya wouldn’t, when he couldn’t. 

Taiga looked at him. Shook his head. 

“Okay, okay,” Tatsuya said, “Taiga, let’s go home.” 

He slept on the train, leaning against Taiga, but regained his strength the closer they came to home. Or, rather, Taiga’s apartment. Tatsuya didn’t live there, technically, although he spent so much time there that Taiga joked about subletting one of the bedrooms to him.

Tatsuya’s gap year in between high school and college had not been a great success. He’d planned on traveling, on seeing new places, of playing basketball (of course), but instead, he’d mostly spent time lying on Taiga’s couch, wondering where his life had gone all wrong. 

“What happens when you’re not good at the only thing you care about?” Tatsuya wondered aloud as Taiga opened his front door, his sigh almost hidden by the rattle of his keys. 

“I don’t know, but I do know that you’re not just good at basketball,” Taiga said, letting him in. “Get a grip, Tatsuya.” 

“So what should I do? Kill myself working like my dad? Become some rich lady’s boytoy? My options are limited,” he said, throwing himself on the couch and beckoning Taiga to him. Taiga followed him and plopped down next to him. But Taiga’s eyes were trained straight ahead, not looking at Tatsuya at all. 

Unacceptable. 

Tatsuya headbutted him gently and Taiga looked at him, finally. “I thought about what you said,” he whispered confidingly. Taiga turned red, a slow, painful red. 

“Uh.” 

“I wanna do it. Listen, it’s not because I’m drunk and sad --” 

“But you _are_ drunk and sad --” 

“Even when I’m not drunk, I’ll still be sad. And want to sleep with you.” Tatsuya leaned over and placed a kiss on Taiga’s cheek. “You’re really cute, Taiga-kun.” 

“Stoppit,” Taiga muttered, looking down. “I’m going to get you some water. When you’re sober, we can talk about it.” He got up and ambled to the fridge. 

Tatsuya stood half-way before deciding against it and sitting down again with a huff. “So you don’t think I’m cute though? Where’s my reassurance, Taiga?” 

“You need reassurance in the form of sex? That’s messed up. Here, drink this,” Taiga said, handing him a cold bottle of water. Tatsuya opened it and took a gulp. He watched Taiga, unblinkingly, until Taiga leaned down and pressed a kiss on his forehead. 

“I wish you’d take care of yourself more,” Taiga said softly, almost too quietly for Tatsuya to hear. He laid the bottle down on the floor and started getting comfortable on the couch. “It kills me to see you this way.” 

“I don’t wanna let you down, but you should be used to it by now,” Tatsuya muttered, as he fell asleep. He felt Taiga’s hand touch his forehead and then he was gone. 

*

Tatsuya woke up with a stomach that wouldn’t stop grumbling and a phone filled with messages asking him where the hell he’d gone off to the night before. He was also in bed, in Taiga’s spare bedroom. The faint smells of breakfast was leaking in from crack in the door, and he lurched upwards, needing to take a leak before anything else. 

Afterwards, having also brushed his teeth and washed his face and feeling -- almost -- human, Tatsuya shambled into the kitchen. Taiga was there, of course, busy over the stove. He shot him a quick, bright glance before smiling, hugely. 

“You look like hell,” he said, not even bothering to hide his smugness. 

Tatsuya yawned and scratched his head. “What a coincidence, I feel like hell too. Sorry if I got out of hand yesterday.” 

“You were okay. A little clingy. Do you want eggs with this?” 

Tatsuya nodded and pulled up a seat. He contemplated talking to Taiga about what he’d said last night (and how much he still meant it) but decided that, for now anyway, he’d stick to asking for some coffee.


End file.
